Don’t eat the cheese, pick the fruit

Grab the low-hanging fruit.  It’s a simple concept.  Why climb the tree to get an apple when you can reach one from the ground?  On Sunday Jason Garrett continually told the offense to climb the tree.

I think Rafael Vela did a good job at Blogging the Boys demonstrating that the Cowboys didn’t stop running because they were getting too cute with the play calling.  They stopped running because there aren’t many runs designed for 2nd and 19.

Bill Parcells was of the belief that you just had to qualify for the tournament, then let the chips fall.  I still think the team is in a position to make the tournament, and from there every win is harder.  Not just the final score, but the wins inside the game.  The little wins that add up to make the final score.

For the Cowboys, I hope that as the offense gathered at the Ranch on Monday, they saw that they didn’t pick the low-hanging fruit.

You know Dom Capers is bringing heat.  You know that the pocket isn’t holding up.  You know that Romo is getting killed.  At 3-0, you know you’re one play from taking the lead, and there’s few better at making that one play.

Of course, that’s the razors edge.  When the Cowboys say that they’re willing to let the game rest on getting the one big win, they also let the other team get the game from one big win.

The problem is, that’s Memphis basketball.  Fire away from behind the arc and hope to make enough plays, or get rebounds with easy put-backs (I guess that would be pass-interference calls in this analogy.).  It’s also Eagles football, which we saw Dallas stop just one week prior.  It’s trying to get the final win, without little ones stacked up in a pile.

The Utah Jazz, on the other hand, liked to turn to the pick-and-roll.  Bare bones, basic, and – when they had Stockton and Malone running it – damn near impossible to consistently stop.  It was instant points for the Jazz.  It’s little win that add up.

Inferior teams can’t stack up the little wins against the Cowboys.  Good teams have trouble doing it.  Yet, on Sunday, the Cowboys let Green Bay get little win after little win.

Win on first, then win on second.  Win on second, get a new first.  The Cowboys had no flow on offense after they left points on the field in the first.  They didn’t have it the week before the Eagles, either, for the the most part.  They just got that big win in the form of a Miles Austin double move.  They beat the Eagles at their own game.

It’s the low hanging fruit that gets little wins.  It’s Jason Witten, engaging and releasing at the line, and running a curl that is on his hands when he comes out of the break.

Tony Romo was under pressure.  Heavy pressure.  Witten is his security blanket.  That’s the moment when you need it most.

Pick the low-hanging fruit this Sunday, take the little wins.  After all, Jason Witten has made a career out of taking little wins, beating a defender, and turning them into big wins.

 

Party Pass Problems

You can make some of the people happy all of the time, and all of the people happy some of the time…but you can’t make all of the people happy all of the time. 

 

I was a party pass partygoer on Sunday in Cowboys Stadium.  Yes, I did have my issues.  For instance, using a borrowed GPS to navigate Dallas for the first time ever, it told me to take the Tollway.  Well, I’d heard about parking, and didn’t want to run out of cash to park.  So I took a nice short cut through the Airport to get to the stadium.  I blame Jerry, he should have painted yellow lines to the stadium throughout the Metroplex. 

 

Discover put a fraud alert on my card because I used it at a 7-11, rendering it useless to me at the stadium.  I blame Jerry for this as well, since he made that deal with Visa back in the 90s, I think it was Discover being punitive to the Cowboys. 

 

Alas, my parking fears were unrealized.  Fifteen bucks.  Was it a hike?  Yeah.  I was over by the Lexus Valet lot for the Rangers.  However, I still had time to walk to the stadium, wait in line to buy my merchandise, walk back to stash it, and walk back to the stadium.  I finally got into the stadium at about 5:30. 

 

I received an email last week that had the following details:

 

• Some party pass areas of the stadium may fill to capacity. When that occurs, you will no longer be provided access to those specific areas. In such an instance, you may be asked to move to an area with available space (including the plazas). With that in mind, we have designed outdoor bars and very large video screens with live broadcasts of the game on the plazas just outside the party decks. 

 

So, after waiting in line for what had to be 5 mintues, I got in, and immediately was disappointed.  Jerry, you should have had a 60-yard screen in the end zones, too.  I figured if I was going to be distracted by a huge television, I was going to be distracted by THE huge television.  So, I moved.  

 The horrible sight-lines provided to me led to this obstructed view for the star unveiling and opening quarter of the game: 

Then, after a few minutes more of rude ushers allowing me access to various concourses to take pictures, I was directed to the areas of the stadium where my party pass was designated for use. 

 Here’s another picture of where I watched the final 3 quarters of the game:

 

Keep in mind, this is after watching the first quarter from mid-field.  Unacceptable. 

 

The usher there was completely power crazy.  At one point, he hit me.  Hit me square on the hand.  He did it to about 4 or 5 others that were in the area, too.  Just because the Cowboys scored didn’t give him the right to celebrate with us!  Jerry, why didn’t you hire the dudes with the furry hats from England to stand all stoic and silent?  Another egregious violation of my fan rights. 

 

So, at the end of the night, for almost 30 (THIRTY!) dollars, I was forced to watch the game from the end where the winning kick went through.  I had to see it happen from far too close of a vantage point. 

 

All in all, Jerry, you’re to blame.  Your ego obviously outweighs the stadium.

Can You Help Me Now?

Adam Schefter of …. ESPN, I guess…. tweets, twits, whatevers, that he thinks the Cowboys could be in play for Vick.  I think he’s wrong about Jerry needing a splash, and encouraging it.  His comments about lost swagger stick with me, and I don’t think he’ll want that swagger.

Vick brings a baggage, a line of questioning, a doubt.

Jerry wants headlines, we know this.  However, everytime people think they have Jerry figured out he changes the game.  Campo begat Parcells.  Henson begat Romo (in a round about way).  So, until I hear a reasoning that says “Jerry thinks Vick can make the Cowboys better,”  I’ll give it no more creedence than the Adam Jones speculation of May.

W2NW4

You’ll be seeing lots of lists in the next day talking about things to watch for in the Cowboy/Raider tilt.  I’m here to tell you about 5 things NOT to watch for.  Five things people will take, extrapolate way too much from that have little meaning.  Remember, last years only undefeated exhibition team (I call them exhibitions only because the league sent a memo a few years ago wanting them to be called pre-season games) was the Detroit Lions.

1.  Romo-To-Roy.  There will be lots of talk coming out of this game about these two.  Remember, it’s one game, one almost game.  Romo will probably try and prove a point here, and go to Roy when he’s a little too covered.  I’d expect to see atleast one forced pass in the two series they play, just because Tony is well aware of what the public thinks, no matter what he says.

2.  “Romo-friendly” – First, no one has an idea about what this means, only educated (or uneducated) guesses.  They’ll run, they’ll pass – but the one thing Jason Garrett won’t do is let this game reveal tendencies.

3.  Alright, one more Romo-related “Thing not to watch” – Ball Protection.  It’s the first exhibition game, and it’s one where Romo has undoubtedly been informed to be extra careful.  Say what you want about the signal caller for America’s Team, but don’t think he’s ignorant.  He’ll throw the ball away if it’s not there.  He’ll let a guy get him down (maybe), but he knows what’s at stake – nothing – and will make plays accordingly.

4.  Sensabaugh in coverage – Yes, it’s something we want to see, but with the first-team corners out, he’ll always have an eye out for what’s happening on the edges.  Read too much into this, either way, and you’ll be setting yourself up for failure.

5.  False starts on Adams – Not because it doesn’t mean anything, but because it’s likely to happen, even in just 2 series, and will just make your blood boil.  Wade can make them sit out all the plays they want, but Flo isn’t going to get beaten to the edge by someone in the first game, even if it means escaping the crouch a little bit early.

Last of the Romohicans

I’m good at dealing with disappointment.  Remarkably good.  In the month leading up to the game with the Foreskins, it felt like “I Am Legend,” only instead of turning into vampires, everyone turned into Tom Coughlin look-alikes.

Friends, blogs, the media, sports-talk callers – the ones who weren’t jumping off the ship were throwing chinese stars at the people left.  Or, should I say person.  True, I wasn’t the only one who still had hopes for the season.  I just happened to not encounter any others.

So, in an alcohol-feuled rage, I decided to annoy some people with a good case of classic Romo-Speak.  Always looking to be hip and fresh, and those who know me know I’m hip and fresh above anything else, I stumbled upon a new Romo-speak nickname that I decided to self-gloss, knowing that the people I annoyed would become seriously pissed about it.  I redubbed myself “Last of the Romohicans.”

Saturday, in an alcohol-fueled rage, I thought of a pithy comment for deadspin’s “Hugh Johnson Project.”  Appearantly, they lacked incoming pith, because three of mine were selected. Suddenly, gushing with internet-based validation I decided that I would further my quest to get mentioned even more. I did beat my own record, and in the process remembered that I should get a plug for this site so people could come read the lack of updates and go about their business. Figured it was a good time to go Romo-speak on the masses, and suddenly “Last of the Romohicans” had a majority of the comments in the final Hugh of the day.

Thus ended my journey, until today going through my RSS feeds and came across the SNF blog from deadspin. That is when I saw this:

titled "Sack of the Mohicans"

I just don’t know what the deal is here.

I’ve drunkenly texted AJ Daulerio inflammatory things after he put his number on the site.  I’ve had a 2-week commenter trial end in non-approval for mentioning my old profession (no, not the oldest profession).  Will Leitch repeatedly ignored my emails, and responded to one.  My other blog was linked there once.  C’lay only slightly big-timed me after getting a job there.  I mean, deadspin, I thought we had a good thing – I sought your approval, you denied, I tried again.  This relationship worked for me, and I’m guessing it did for you though you seem rather unaffected.

I think I need reperations for this, right?  I mean, I need my own lesson in Romo-speak guest post, or a “Hugh Jobber Project” for the NFL, or having the commenter approval process waived, or a T-Shirt.  I mean, I’m negotiable.  A galley of “Men with Balls“  (See, that’s a link to BUY the book, and I asked for nothing…well, nothing additional!), Something?

Perhaps just an email telling me to screw off?  I mean, I’m not very hard to please… because after all, I am the Last of the Romohicans.

Porky Pigs and Dandy Don

“That’s all folks.”  “Turn out the lights….”  Feels like we’re in the postscript of the Cowboy’s season, at least if you bothered to wake up and look at what’s being said about the team. 

 

“Getting Tony Romo back after the bye gives the Cowboys a chance to make the playoffs. It guarantees nothing for a team whose flaws extend far past the quarterback position.”  –Tim MacMahon, DaMN

 

“To tell you the truth though, I’m tired of the Romo excuse.” – Grizz from bloggingtheboys.com

 

“Seriously, besides Romo’s return, do the Cowboys have more reasons to be optimistic?” – Brian Davis, DaMN

 

“It’s not just going to happen because Tony[Romo] is coming back.”  – Jason Witten, in the DaMN.

 

Romo isn’t enough.  The problems are deeper – that’s what everyone is telling me.  Perhaps it’s time to listen.  Put Romo on IR, since everything else can’t be fixed, and let’s play Rangers Baseball and get ready for next year just into the second half of the season.  I didn’t even bother reading Galloway – but that’s nothing new, win or lose.

 

Here’s another quote, a little bit more lengthy of a missive, so I’ve edited it down some.  It’s written by Rafael Vela from blueandsilverreport.com: 

 

…the Cowboys again tripped over their collective feet in an embarrassing … loss to New York Giants. Looking for goats? Throw a dart. You’re bound to hit somebody on the team. Practically every Cowboys’ unit shares in the blame. The offensive line was again undone. …The backs were slow and suspect on their blocks, letting the Giants blitz wave proceed…. The pass rush was again inconsistent. …The secondary again sputtered…The vaunted run defense was gashed by the Giants backs. …The big ink will go to the QB position… Their season so far shows they’re an inconsistent team that can’t pass protect against good defenses. The rush needs blitz supplements and their secondary gives up too many big plays.

 

Know when that was?  Not this morning.  Not last night.   October 23rd, 2006.  The night Drew Bledsoe made his last start for the Cowboys. 

 

Remember what happened BEFORE then?  TO…ambulance…25 million reasons to live…Ring a bell?  That’s when everyone was all in an uproar about how off field stuff was distracting the team, and how with all drama.  Never mind, you do remember.  It happened two weeks ago, just change the name TO to Pacman.  On second thought, just add Pacman in there, because Mt. Terrell is about to erupt any moment according to the newspapers.   It was the same trite garbage then, and it’s the same trite garbage now from journalists who live in their wife’s basements.   

 

The parallels are becoming clearer aren’t they? 

 

And our final quote: 

 

“We’re going to be ready to go Sunday, and we’re going to try and turn this thing around…The way to right the ship is to win.”

 

That’s America’s Quarterback, back prior to the inauguration…. Final week of October, 2006.  I remember what happened next, do you?  Sunday night game, Romo the only thing different.  Even a 14-point deficit.  Dallas 35, Carolina 14.  Then a trip to Landover.  Then Arizona.  Then Indy.  Then Thanksgiving and the huge game against Tampa, then Witten down the seam to gain revenge on the Giants. 

 

Enter Romo, and over the next seven games, the Cowboys won five.  It was around that time when words like “romomentum” were entering the lexico  It was around that time when one thing changed, and EVERYTHING changed as a result.  Now I know, though, that that cant happen, the media told me.  Getting Romo back isn’t enough reason for me to still hold out hope for the season. 

 

So, I don’t. 

 

Getting Romo back is the reason that I’m not worried about the season at all.  It’s not a beauty contest in October.  There is no Harris Interactive Poll.  No composite rankings.  Win 5 of the next 7, and this is all irrelevant. 

 

It’s go out, get in the playoffs, flip a coin.  That’s it.  You know why the Cowboys said the better team lost last year in the playoffs?  Because the better team did.  It’s not about being the best team, or the better team.  Survive and advance.  That’s IT.  I’ll take my chances. 

 

If 2006 was about building Romomentum, then I sit here in 2008 and say these next 7 games, they’re about Romovenge. 

The DaMN AgAIN

It’s like he’s trying to do it on purpose.

Tim MacMahon has a general disdain for not only the fans, but the team.  Biased coverage is one thing.  We all live with that.  The Metroplex did make Galloway a star.  But MacMahon is trying to find a scab.   Trying to find something to pick at.

Tim, I ask you – keyboard to keyboard.  Do you hate being the lead blogger for a major metropolitan newspaper?  There’s certainly a daily in Iowa that would love your background.

I’ve dated girls I didn’t like before.  Do you know what I did to them?  STOPPED SEEING THEM!   If you don’t like where you work Timmy Mac – go somewhere else.  No one but your accountant will shed a tear.  You turn a fair amount of skill into vapid nothingness.

You bait the fans, you bait the team.  Then you get vengful when they say the media did something?  Honestly – what the hell?  Sorry the Dallas Cowboys kicked your dog.

Giving Hack Writers Hope

Are Cowboy fans whiny?  OK, wait, are Cowboy fans disproportionately whiny compared to those of other teams?  Tim MacMahon seems to think so.  The DMN blog guru made it a point to hammer the point home in his weekly post with the guys from football outsiders.  Not only did he put it in the first question, but put it in the headline.

Sure there’s some whiny fans.  Hell, I can be whiny.  I’m not one of those who gets upset whenever a writer or talking head is negative, or when they don’t view the world with the same askew view as I do.  However, there’s a few things that are intolerable.

First, when someone gets paid for providing insight and analysis allows general perception (skewed or not) to override reality.  Like when you read about all the character issues on the Cowboys.  TO, Tank, Pacman.  “Look – Jerry brings in jerks!”  What have TO or Tank done while wearing the blue star to bring up anything about their character?  When was the last time the police put a Cowboy in bracelets and took him for a car ride?  Where is the proof?  TO saying he’s not happy about getting the football?  Show me a wideout who’s happy just running routes and I’ll show you one who’s not worth paying.  Really, this is just being lazy.  Rather than dissecting or analyzing, they’ll just ride the tide of whimsy.  The offenders are not hard to find or identify, so I won’t spend the time to run through the list.

Second, and lets call this “Baylessing,” is when a figure makes agitating the goal.  A misguided goal that puts the person who should be reporting the story into the story.  Again, the list of people who interject rather than report is far too long to go into here.  Everything is written with a purpose – one that the writer should know implicitly.  If he or she doesn’t – then don’t write.  Or don’t call yourself a professional.

I understood the purpose of the weekly Q&A with “the Outsiders” to be adding some sort of statistical perspective to the team.  Albert Breer did a good job of this with the DMN, and obviously the folks calling the shots thought filling part of that void would be a good idea.  I agree, however Breer never operated with the stats in a vacuum – the same can’t be said about Bill Barnwell (at least as far as his DMN “questions”).  But when the story leads with “Whiny Cowboys fans got all hot and bothered last week by the Football Outsider formula that stated the odds were against Dallas making the playoffs,” it is obvious that the story is no longer about statistical analysis, but rather to prod fans into a response.  The comments are very reflective of that, because, well, they respond.

Here’s the entire first question:  Whiny Cowboys fans got all hot and bothered last week by the Football Outsider formula that stated the odds were against Dallas making the playoffs. (Then the Cowboys reduced those odds by losing to the Rams, dude.) Let’s try to get you back in those folks’ good graces. Is there a stat you can point to that provides hope the Cowboys can snap out of their month-long funk?

Now, a Bayless-free version, written by me:  Last week, you pointed out some historical data that showed it’s an uphill climb for the Cowboys to make the playoffs.  Is there anything in your numerical chicanery that could give fans hope?

Oops, wait, I was poking Barnwell there.  The actual question didn’t need rephrasing.

Timmy Mac, you have failed.  Not because you upset me, not because you didn’t play the homer.  You have failed because you let your personal feelings taint your reporting.  Good luck unringing the bell.

You think you know someone…

Jerry.  I thought I knew you.  I didn’t waste time with any mock drafts, because I knew it was a fruitless effort to go thinking about who you’d take at 22 and 28.  You weren’t going to pick at 22 and 28.

I knew you.  I have the hat you signed for me still sitting there, on display for anyone who looks in the plastic bag in the top of the coat closet (I don’t really do memorabilia).

Turns out, I’m Cliff Irving.  You’re Howard Hughes.  Not to say you’re some rich, crazy recluse.  Everyone knows you love being the center of attention in the public square.

Just when I thought that you’d be trading down, addressing needs while amassing picks to address needs down the road, you traded up.

Just when I thought the one thing you wouldn’t do was what everyone said you would, you did what everyone said you would.  You picked twice in the first round, nabbing a corner and a running back.

Now, you have everyone fooled again.  Now they all think that they know what you’ll do.  So Sunday, I’ll get up early, because all I know is that you won’t be doing what everyone thinks you’re going to do.  Or you will, because everyone thinks you’ll do anything but what they think you’ll do.

When the Oracle at Delphi said that Socrates was the wisest of all Athenians, Socrates argued that if he was the wisest man it was only because he was wise enough to know he had no wisdom.

The School Bus

Middle school wasn’t the easiest place for me. I rode a bus to a school where all my friends went. There, I got on another bus to go to the school where I didn’t know anyone. My lack of social adjustment didn’t help matters, as I went through several different groups of friends trying to figure out where I fit in.

So as I transferred buses to start the 7th grade, it wasn’t exactly the highlight of my day to find that the only seat left was next to Javaris, who had moved into the district.

Javaris was the source of fear for everyone in the 6th grade. Other than size, I don’t know why. For me, size was enough of a reason, and I wasn’t going to speak up for him to give me another one, so I did a pretty good job of dodging him.

Should have known it wouldn’t last for three years.

Now the prospect of a 30 minute ride where the only thing more awkward than myself was the silence had me forgetting all my grand plans for adolescent acceptance. Then it happened. “Troy Aikman is a punk,” he said, reacting to my shirt. My favorite shirt. Made by Salem, once black now slightly grayed, with a blue star on the chest. It was too big when I got it for my birthday in 1992. It was too big, still, almost a year later. An adult large, when I was a medium kid.

“Well, he beat Steve Young didn’t he?” I fired back, suddenly more concerned with his red shirt than his foot advantage. As the bus wandered across town, so did the argument. Emmitt or Ricky, Moose or Rathman, Jay or Jones. That ended up being the best part of the day. The next one, too.

For the next 2 years, our differences are what brought us together. A friendship forged from being enemies. It’s all we did, at every point possible.

We went to separate high schools. That is until he walked into my algebra class as a junior. I didn’t ask why he changed schools, and we didn’t catch up on what had happened to each other since middle school. We caught up on 2 and a half years of lost Cowboys/Niners smack.

Last I heard, he was flying jets in the military. It’s been almost 10 years since I saw him last, but I know that when Tony Romo hits T.O. for a TD he hates me a little bit. I’m still his friend. Well, as long as Alex Smith keeps being terrible.

Football gives us a chance to have fun with disagreements. So lets agree to disagree.